Dos & Don’ts of wearing jewelry

Coinciding with his launch of his new jewelry collection, including his much-photographed  choker necklace, designer Michael Kors supplies the October 2011 issue of Glamour magazine with his version of “The Do’s & Don’ts of Wearing Jewelry.”

Kors’ five rules are, not surprisingly, focus on the current season’s looks and incorporate his trademark wit that makes him a popular personality on Project Runway. He touches on several styles I’ve recently posted about here:

He recommends wearing big hoop earrings with a simple ponytail or sleek chignon and not with a head of curly hair, so the wearer isn’t “just one tambourine shy of a Halloween costume.”

He recommends wearing chunky chain-link bracelets and necklaces with simple clothing for “sporty chic with a status edge,” but not with anything otherwise studded:  “Too many bold links and spikes are for biker babes.”

Kors recommends that readers wear “a single bold oversize ring as a glamorous exclamation point, day or night” but not with long, colorful nails, or “you’ll look like a strange blend of vintage hip-hop and drag queen.”

He recommends mixing metals or gems, but not both, to avoid “veering into Christmas tree territory.”

His final rule:  “DO invest in gold or silver cuff bracelets. They go beautifully with sleeveless tops and dresses.” So far, so good. Then Kors makes an inexplicable comment:

“DON’T forget to keep cuffs in proportion to you:  Smaller girl equals smaller cuffs.”

Putting aside the issue of calling grown women “girls” – something one gets used to hearing in reference to the models on Project Runway, I suppose – this last bit of advice makes no sense, particularly in light of the photograph that apparently was supplied by Kors himself to the magazine, if I’m reading the credits correctly. The young woman shown is very slender, yet she wears a pair of enormous cuff bracelets. If she’s not a “smaller girl,” then who is?  I am at a loss to understand this final piece of fashion advice.

DO take note of one issue created with wearing a pair of cuff bracelets – even on the slender woman in the photo, adding cuffs at the level of her thighs, particularly combined with a draped gown that adds horizontal emphasis at that point, emphasizes the width of her thighs. She looks bottom-heavy and out of proportion. To me, that is a fashion DON’T.

Author Cynthis Sliwa